that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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