You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
