"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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