Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
