I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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