"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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