i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
