he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
