Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
