my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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