dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
