i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Randomize
