booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
