i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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