I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize