Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
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