we have pet lesbian snakes
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Randomize
