Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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