Nicole vs. Life
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I'm both gender and math confused
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
