she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
