you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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