I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Holy shit dude........stairs
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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