I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
they need to just BURY HIM!
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Randomize
