Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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