So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
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There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
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We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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