either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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