Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
