Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
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