He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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