the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
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Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
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I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
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