If i come over, it means nothing
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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