Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
