do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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