she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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