And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
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I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
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Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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