we have officially mastered the walk of shame
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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