escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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