Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Randomize
