I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
