Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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