i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
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