at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
