When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Your cock deserves a montage
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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