are you so shy because you have an std?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
