How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Randomize
