What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
