Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
