The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
