it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
