i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
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