i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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