I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
