Sponge bath it is.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
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Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
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dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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