i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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