Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
