And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
