I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
